UnAnything Wiki:Xbox Criminal Outbreak
A Probotector accidentally catches Xbox Criminal Syndrome due to a faulty system update, causing it to turn evil until the virus finds a new host. Spreading to machines and organic beings alike, the Xbox Criminal Syndrome threatens to overwhelm the world's population. Can anyone stand up to the spreading syndrome? There's only one way to find out. Characters *Probotector - Oobooglunk *T-2504 and others - Marc122 Role Play A single Probotector is standing on the barren outskirts of a town, the ground littered with scrap metal and other junk. The Probotector is undergoing a routine system update. PROBOTECTOR: Updating... Suddenly, the Probotector grabs its head with both hands as its visor flashes wildly. PROBOTECTOR: System Error! System Error! Xbox Criminal Syndrome has been detected! (To itself) I never should have switched to Windows... The Probotector's visor fills with barely recognizable static as it tightens its grip on its machine gun. Suddenly, it spots a shadowy figure in the distance... It turns out to be Sarah Connor, with Arnold Schwarzenegger (also known as the T-800)'s clothes and hair, holding dual MG 3s without discomfort. However, she falls down, dropping her weapons, revealing her to be the T-2504. T-2504: (Heavily breathing) Oh gosh... I-I never sh-shouldn't have gone without a mechanic... Now I can't move my body manually and...my telekinesis is starting to lose its fizz! Meanwhile, the Probotector is rapidly approaching the T-2504 at a circuit-burning sprint, glaring at the T-2504 the whole way. PROBOTECTOR: (Angry, slightly slurred) Yaaaaarrrrrrgh!! Finally, the Probotector screeches to a sudden halt within arm's reach of the T-2504, static-filled visor in full view. It cocks its machine gun and frantically raises it, trembling slightly. T-2504: Please no, Probotector... Please no. The T-2504 used his dwindling telekinesis to quickly move out of the Probotector's way, leaving behind his machine guns. PROBOTECTOR: Kill! Kill!! The Probotector runs at the T-2504, guns blazing, but the bullets just bounce off its body. PROBOTECTOR: Assessing target...appears to be weakened, but still bulletproof. Pass virus to target immediately. The static in the Probotector's visor begins to fade away as it stares into the T-2504's eyes. T-2504: NO! The T-2504 pulls the Probotector onto the ground and hold him there using the same power as he tries to send a distress signal. PROBOTECTOR: Distress signal detected. Jamming... The static in the Probotector's eyes finally leaves and appears within the T-2504's, turning them red. PROBOTECTOR: I...am free. Do not worry, T-2504. Your ailment will leave you once you pass it to a new host. T-2504: What the?! Shut up, fool. Why should I? I said shut it. Suddenly, an idiot named Rebecca Black (or Acceber Kcalb) is seen running away from Sirius Black as he tries to beat her up. Sirius' eyes are red. PROBOTECTOR: Unexpected target identified. Sirius Black has absorbed the Xbox Criminal Syndrome from the T-2504. T-2504: Oh my gosh, I've never seen that syndrome possess a human! PROBOTECTOR: The Xbox Criminal Syndrome affects both organic and artificial minds. Approach with caution. Just then, Sirius roars and raises his hands in the air, shimmering like a fading hologram. Then, he grabs Rebecca Black and converts her into oxygen. PROBOTECTOR: Warning: Oxygen Conversion detected. The symptoms of the syndrome are progressing more quickly than they normally should. Target must be stopped immediately. T-2504: Well, this is a real problem now. Save for when Rebecca Black is finally gone after all. The T-2504 proceeds to use his telekinesis to aim the MG 3s at Sirius and fire them. The Probotector joins in as Sirius shoots a blast of heat vision at the T-2504's guns. PROBOTECTOR: Warning. Your guns may be in danger of melting. Heat vision is another symptom of Xbox Criminal Syndrome. T-2504: Darn! The T-2504 starts using cold manipulation to cool down the guns he is using. However. they have already melted out of shape. PROBOTECTOR: Problem acknowledged. I will lend you my own gun. The Probotector gives his gun to the T-2504 as Sirius grabs the two fallen machine guns from earlier. Then, the Probotector manages to wrestle one out of his hands as an Invincibility powerup floats above him. He shoots it and charges into Sirius, killing him instantly. However, it is already too late: Probotector has been infected with the syndrome once again. PROBOTECTOR: Yaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgghhhh!! The invincible, armed Probotector charges at the T-2504. The T-2504 sighs as he tries to blast the Probotector away using his telekinesis. PROBOTECTOR: Probotect and...(static)...Kill. The Probotector crashes into a pile of old cars as they fall over and roll towards the T-2504 like a row of wheeled dominoes. The Probotector aims for the fuel tank of the nearest car, which happens to be nearly full. PROBOTECTOR: Kill. The Probotector fires at the fuel tank, causing a massive explosion, as his invincibility finally fades away. The next car explodes as well, and the next, and the one after that, all the way down to the T-2504. As the chain reaction is happening, the Probotector sets up the MG 3 like a turret and leaves it to fire automatically at the T-2504, hiding behind a nearby pile of scrap metal. Unbeknownst to the Probotector and the T-2504, this pile is actually the remains of Super Duper Metal Sonic from the previous RP. The T-2504 is hit by it as he lets out a Wilhelm scream and drops onto the floor, yet mostly okay. PROBOTECTOR: (Grinding, metallic) Grrrraaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!! The Probotector lifts Super Duper Metal Sonic's chest laser and uses his Oxygen Conversion to dissipate most of it, leaving only the massive reflector lens in the center. His heat vision overwhelms him as it fires out of his eyes and into the lens, magnifying to over 9000% of its original power. T-2504: Oh no! The T-2504 tries to use his still fading telekinesis to throw the Probotector onto the ground. The robot falls, his heat vision shutting off instantly. PROBOTECTOR: Probo--'(''clicking)--Kill.' The Probotector converts the lens into oxygen and leaps to its feet. PROBOTECTOR: '''Kill.' The Probotector converts the T-2504 into oxygen. Yet he comes back as PewDiePie with Stocking Anarchy's clothing and hair. PROBOTECTOR: Target not recognized. Maximum confusion achieved. However, PewDiePie falls onto the ground, still unable to move. The Probotector rushes at it, full speed. By now, the MG 3 has run out of bullets and sits on its stand, motionless. The heat vision in the Probotector's visor heats up to 100%. PewDiePie, who is actually the T-2504, tries to use his telekinesis to get away. Trying to lock onto the T-2504's position, the Probotector fires. The T-2504 drops onto the floor, but before it can, it levitates higher into the air. PROBOTECTOR: Ki--(static)... Suddenly, in a moment of lucidity, the Probotector speaks to the T-2504. PROBOTECTOR: Virus temporarily overwhelmed. Reserve power: 5%. (To T-2504) There is not much time. Make a clone of yourself for me to infect. We can defeat it more easily, with your own knowledge of your... The Probotector emits a series of whirs and clicks. PROBOTECTOR: Reserve power: 2%. (To T-2504) If you deem this unwise, do not be afraid to destroy me. I have done my duty. Probotect and...(clicking)... The T-2504 sighs as he drops onto the floor and simultaneously creates a clone of himself. PROBOTECTOR: New target detected. Appears weakened. Passing virus... The static in the Probotector's eyes fades as the T-2504's clone swiftly punches through his chest. He falls to the ground, defeated, but comes back with a single extra life. T-2504: We have to find a cure fast! PROBOTECTOR: Once the syndrome finds a new host, the previous host is free of all symptoms. If this clone dies, the syndrome stops. T-2504: Alright, we need to think of the weaknesses I have. PROBOTECTOR: Good idea. First, however, could you hand me my gun? The T-2504 clone charges at the original, transforming one of its arms into a machine gun and aiming it at the Probotector. The other arm becomes a sniper rifle, aimed at the T-2504. The T-2504 then promptly pushes his clone out of the way using his telekinesis. T-2504: Sure. The T-2504 levitates the MG 3 to the Probotector using said power. PROBOTECTOR: Thank you. The Probotector aims at the T-2504 clone's joints, firing at them strategically. T-2504: Oh man, I hope this works. The T-2504 clone transforms into a giant laser turret and fires at the Probotector repeatedly. He acquires a Laser power-up and fires back, deftly avoiding its blasts. The T-2504 transforms one of his arms into a water hose, except it shoots out alcoholic martini. He then aims it at the clone and fires it. PROBOTECTOR: Locked and loaded. The Probotector charges at the T-2504 clone as it transforms into Mewtwo and raises a psychic barrier around itself. The Probotector's Laser shots, however, pass through the barrier and damage it ever so slightly. It then fires a spontaneous burst of heat vision, which is reflected back at it. T-2504: Any other plans?! PROBOTECTOR: Probotect a... The T-2504 clone converts the Probotector into oxygen. Then, it transforms into Dr. Robotnik's SPEW cannon and aims at the T-2504. T-2504: NO! (Thinking) Probotector is gone, and now I have to face him alone! I'd transform into the Death Star, but that would be the biggest and slowest transformation I've ever done! Or I might just go with putting Arnold Schwarzenegger here, but that would prove him futile against that clone. Better get with my Death Star thing. (Out loud) Mister... Prepare to face my wrath. The T-2504 begins levitating into the sky as he starts his slow transformation into the Death Star. Meanwhile, the SPEW aims upward and continues to charge. T-2504: (Thinking) Oh man, I don't think I can complete transforming into an unmanned Death Star before that cannon can fire! Suddenly, the wind currents around the SPEW slowly begin to turn it away from the T-2504. A voice is heard from the air. PROBOTECTOR: Probotect and serve. T-2504: (Thinking) Oh, never mind. By now, The T-2504 has almost completed transforming into the battle station. Just then, the SPEW transforms into a miniature black hole and sucks up all the oxygen around it. Then, it turns back into the SPEW and points itself at the Death Star, and continues to charge. The T-2504's transformation has completed. T-2504: (Thinking) Probs, I hope you're okay. Also, both the exterior and interior of this thing were so complex that it was the reason why it took long! Oh well... The T-2504 begins to charge up its laser. Meanwhile, the SPEW struggles to keep its aim steady. Eventually, it transforms back into its original self, throws up its hands in frustration, and fires a Shoop Da Whoop at the Death Star while using its solar generators to draw power from the Sun. The T-2504 fires its laser as the T-2504 clone counters it with a massively empowered Shoop da Whoop. The nexus of the two lasers slowly inches towards the T-2504. T-2504: (Thinking) NO! The T-2504 begins sacrificing its small surface turret power to its green laser. Suddenly, the T-2504's clone transforms its face into the Probotector's. It seems to be having an internal struggle. PROBOTECTOR: Pro...Pro... The T-2504's clone transforms one of its arms into a metallic fist, wearing brass knuckles made from the Sun. It punches itself in its Probotector face. PROBOTECTOR: Probotect and Serve. The T-2504's clone explodes in a searing blast of flame as pieces of the Probotector and the T-2504 scatter across the ground. T-2504: (Thinking) I sure hope the Xbox Criminal Syndrome is gone now. A beep from the T-2504's sensors indicates that there are no dangerous viruses whatsoever in the vicinity. T-2504: (Thinking) YES! Finally! Oh wait, I realized I need to get myself fixed. Hold up. The T-2504 slowly transforms into Ryuko Matoi in a cosplay of the Probotector as it slowly goes back to the UnWorld. Its sensors indicate that it needs a system update, beeping almost inaudibly. T-2504: (Thinking) Huh? What the? Oh well, I'll do it when I'm on the ground.